Name that Cliché!

Every writer should know that including clichés in your writing is – as one of my elementary school teachers would say – a BIG NO-NO. He knew what he was talking about and so should you.

Clichés sneak up on you and worm their way into your writing. They are such comfortable turns of phrase that they flow so easily onto the page…and that’s fine when you’re writing a first draft.

I know what the trouble is. How do you nail those clichés? After all, a cliché is just an original idea that has been worn out, over-used and jumped on so many times that it has become a gag. It triggers the response “I’ve heard that one before” from people who don’t even know where the idea first sprouted.

Clichés make people roll their eyes, cringe and walk away. In the case of your writing, they stop reading. Anything that keeps potential readers away from your works is – you guessed it – a BIG NO-NO.

There is one thing I come across when I am reading that irks me a little. It is something of a cliché loophole.

An important note: There is no such thing as a cliché loophole. Trying to excuse yourself from using a cliché is never acceptable.

This so-called loophole is what I like to call “Name that Cliché!” It is the act of using a cliché and then mentioning that it is a cliché.

Phrases like:

“It was something of a cliché.”

Or:

“I know that it was a huge cliché but at that moment…”

These do not subtract from the existence of the cliché. Warning the reader or owning up to cliché usage does not excuse the use of a downtrodden phrase or scenario.

Narrator: Was my life just becoming one massive cliché? Did I have a sign on me somewhere that read: “Browbeaten heroine needs brooding, closed-off love interest and overbearing parents”?

Reader: Ugh. Why should I care?

Cue eye-roll.

Calling yourself out on cliché-use does not soften the blow. Ever.

Kiss of death: Using the word “cliché” at any point in your work of fiction.

Clichés are not bad. They are very important writing tools. Of course you should never use a cliché in your writing but let me give you a few reasons why clichés are a good thing.

1. A cliché forces you to think outside the box. When you spot the existence of a cliché in any form, you are encouraged to dig for something original. If your character sprouts a clichéd phrase, then now is the opportunity to come up with your character’s own unique turn of phrase.

2. Clichés are actually a good building foundation for an idea. One of my favourite things about writing is archetypes. They are simple fundamentals for characters and story plots that you can build on. Sometimes when you are stuck for ideas, the only things that come to you are clichés. That just means you have something to mould and work with. If a cliché is thrown at you, go with it and throw something back that is interesting and amazing.

3. You can surprise your reader with the use of clichés without using a cliché. Confused? Clichés mean that people have come to accept something in a certain way. They expect things to be a particular way in a story. You can take a reader’s expectation for a cliché and turn it on its head to add a twist to the story and surprise the reader.

Don’t be afraid of clichés but don’t snuggle with them either. That's a no-no.

I See Purple

Being both a reader and a writer, I feel I have a different frame of mind when I’m reading a book than when I am writing one. When you are a writer, your outlook changes on writing, the books you read and on life. That doesn’t mean that these things can’t sometimes be separate.

It’s a problem because what someone writes might make them think, ‘This is genius and beautiful prose!’ but may not be something they would read if it wasn’t their work. You can write what you think is the most stunning description of a ladybird cupped inside a flower but it may not be the most attention-grabbing thing for the reader.

What am I talking about? Purple prose, of course! When writing becomes over-descriptive and flowery and the reader groans and starts to feel sleepy.

There is nothing wrong with description in fiction. When an author takes their time to bring you into the world of the story, it can be far more vivid. I like to feel immersed in the character’s world but too much description and it can get a little tedious.

I am often struck by an image when I read a story. It isn’t because the writer has taken all the time in the world to convey it but because they have written something that I have been able to visualise. The skill of the writer must work with the imagination of the reader to invoke a memorable moment.

That means letting go a little. You cannot keep a grasp on every little detail of a moment and hand-feed it to your audience. A taste of something fantastic can explode in the reader’s mind and stick with them. You need to be able to cut that prolonged prose into something that your reader isn’t going to become glassy-eyed over and begin to skim for something solid.

Let me give you an example:

The ink swirled around her neck in spirals like the ocean was enveloping her and her head was still bobbing above the waves. The black water rippled down from the nape of her neck, encircling her throat and wrapping around her shoulders, encasing her in a monochromatic ocean. He wondered how far the waves ran down her body and what she must look like under the water, the blue and the black and the shimmering tan of her skin, the water a permanent fixture on her body.

That is a big block of text – a paragraph – that focuses only on this woman’s tattoo. This is how I rewrote it:

Her neck was carved in black ink, the curl of the tide claiming her.

Cue dialogue or anything but more description about this woman’s neck or other purple prose. The temptation to go on and on is there but it’s just so…boring to read. It subtracts from impact.

It’s only one sentence and it isn’t refined but it is an improvement on the gush that came before it.

I am guilty of being drawn to purple prose when I am writing. It feels good to write these things and to enter into how I want the scene to be, the moment to play out, what I want the reader to experience. The problem is that I over-explain for my own needs and the result does not always make the sense I want it to. If I read that in a novel, my eyelids would start to droop.

There is that important moment when it comes to your own writing where you need to evaluate your description and target that purple prose. That moment is in rewrites. When you are rewriting, you need to think like a reader and how you would evaluate writing that isn’t yours.

Need help? Just ask someone else to read through it and get their feedback. Remember, take criticism and be brutal with your purple prose.

A Cynic's Guide to Romance Writing

10 Steps to Writing a Best Selling Romance

1. The protagonist moves to a new place where she is the most exciting thing to anyone with testosterone since canned beer. Preferably someplace small and obscure so that such a thing is semi-plausible.

2. The protagonist's love interest must be the most attractive and unobtainable man in the area. He must physically smoulder.

3. The love interest must not fawn over the protagonist but instead banter with and even insult her. The protagonist may be irritated by the love interest but may not at any moment be unaware of his sexual appeal.

4. The protagonist does not sit back and take what the love interest dishes out to her. Conflict ensures. Later the love interest will admit that it is her unwillingness to take his insults that was his reason for being drawn to her.

5. The love interest saves the protagonist's life. He then acts cold and distant towards her. This makes the protagonist all the more drawn to him.

6. The love interest professes his feelings to the protagonist by kissing her fiercely because he is incapable of expressing himself through words.

7. Ironically, once the protagonist and love interest get together - and possibly have sex - all sexual tension and conflict between them ceases.

8. The protagonist may be outspoken, witty and boisterous but at her core must still show the need to be dominated and protected by a man.

9. Everyone must like the protagonist. If someone does not like the protagonist it is a BIG DEAL. They are probably a horrible person or the antagonist.

10. All further hope for conflict must come from family, ex-lovers, the community, the love interest's arch nemesis, convenient protagonist-haters or a series of misunderstandings between the protagonist and the love interest.

Best of luck on your romantic writing ventures.

Yours,

The Cynic

Quidditch Through the Ages by Kennilworthy Whisp

I have never been much of a sports person and I wouldn't consider myself someone who reads up on the history of one but I was captivated by 'Quidditch Through the Ages.'

From the history of the broom to the now-endangered species of bird that the Snitch is modeled on and the prominent teams throughout the UK and Ireland as well as the rest of the world, I read this book in almost one sitting, aloud to my mother.

I now feel far more informed about the sport of Quidditch and quite intrigued. Perhaps I shall pay closer attention to the sport in future. Now that I know more of the history, I find it a lot more exciting. They even had history of the evolution of the game in my own country, New Zealand.

I think that while I am living in the USA, I will look into the game of Quodpot. It seems like something worth seeing at least once.

I would recommend reading Kennilworthy Whisp's Quidditch Through the Ages and discovering its insights for yourself. I also implore you to check out the Comic Relief Website and to look into 'Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them' by Newt Scamander which is another brilliant book that gives a greater insight into the magical world.

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Bloomsbury and is used solely as an aide to the review.

0.4 by Mike Lancaster

"My name is Kyle Straker and I don't exist anymore."

These are the transcripts of the tapes made by Kyle Straker. If what they say are true, then our history and who we are has been altered forever.

I learned of this book online but picked it up when I was back in New Zealand. In America, it is actually published under a different name: 'Human.4.'

This is a very compelling read. The intrigue is sustained throughout the entire novel and I always had questions, was continually interested. The plot is fast-paced and gripping.

While I was captivated during the reading process, 0.4 did something for me that doesn't happen with a lot of books. It left me thinking about its contents after I'd closed the pages. I still am and it has left an impression on me.

It reminds me of studying Bertolt Brecht in drama classes. He wanted the audience to leave changed from when they came in and thinking rather than having an emotional response. Mike Lancaster achieved both.

The novel is all about humanity. For a human, it can only be personal and thus I felt connected to the concept. It deals with insecurities, the unknown, morality, companionship, technology and the evolutionary process, all on levels that you wouldn't expect. Most important of all, it makes you think about what exactly are the qualities that define us as human beings.

I would recommend '0.4' by Mike Lancaster to someone who is looking for a good science fiction read but also anyone who wants to feel that subtle yet powerful effect of a novel that hooks you and doesn't let you go, even after the last page is turned.

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Egmont Books Ltd and is used solely as an aide to the review.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

"I know this is going to sound strange, but would you mind being my girlfriend for the next five minutes?"

This question propels a single night that changes the life of two teenagers on the brink of adulthood forever.

I picked up this book for two reasons:

1) I had seen the movie adaptation a while back and loved it.

2) 'Will Grayson, Will Grayson' (another book co-written by David Levithan) was one of the three 5 star books I read in 2010.

Nick & Norah is now another of my 5 star reads.

This novel is told in the narratives of both Nick and Norah in alternating chapters. I like how it delved inside their minds so that as a reader I got an insight into them that they didn't have in each other. It was like seeing all the puzzle pieces before they were able to fit together.

The good thing about this book is that while it gave a fantastic look into the minds of the characters (their insecurities, their weaknesses, their views of others and themselves, their love of music, their hopes, their humour) which made for fantastic character development throughout, the plot was never at a stand-still. There was always something happening, something new and exciting.

I've never come across a novel that spanned a single evening, not even a novella. Plenty of short stories don't even do this. It worked so very well and it didn't seem like only a moment or a dragged-on period of time. It was perfect and it was interesting and it was something that I can see re-living in my mind, just like the characters would.

I would recommend this to anyone who ever questioned themselves, where they were headed or what they were doing. Who plugged themselves into their music, looking for answers and finding a connection.

I look forward to reading more of both of the authors' works, including their other co-written novels.

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer borrowed this book from the library. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Alfred A. Knopf and is used solely as an aide to the review.

Don’t Think, Just Write!

Back in New Zealand, I would often tell the members of my writing group, ‘Don’t think, just write!’

This was usually around the time I confiscated their phones and started playing Angry Birds but that is not the point.

The point is: writers spend far too much time mulling over ideas – or lack thereof – and worrying about their wording. They let their inner editor come out, sit on their shoulder and nibble at their ear while they stare at a blank page.

Plenty of writers are idealists. I know I’m one of them. Caught up in the vision of the perfection they want to achieve, they’re afraid to step into the muddy puddles to build the foundation. They use their lack of inspiration as an excuse not to write and squeeze their sleeping brain at the temples, trying to get the creative juices flowing.

Does this process actually work? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say...no. Some people might not agree. Hey, perhaps that inner editor will whisper perfect sentences into your ear but the thing that a lot of people forget is that a first draft is not meant to be perfect. They’re afraid of writing something that is utter rubbish.

I have written a lot of rubbish. I’ve also written a lot of good things and I’ve managed plenty of times to rewrite the rubbish into something fab. That’s the thing about rewriting, you need something to work with first. It’s like trying to make a pot out of thin air or wishing. You need that lump of clay first and it’s going to be hard but you need to get your hands messy and just go for it.

Okay, enough with the metaphors, I think you get the point. After all, ‘Easier said than done, right?’

Absolutely. You don’t think I’d tell you to go forth and just write without a little help, would I?

The best tool for the, ‘Don’t think, just write!’ strategy is Write or Die. It’s a free online tool that will help you to get the words out at such a pace that your inner editor won’t be able to keep up with you. Give it a chance, it has a wonderful success rate.

As a final thought, I leave you with this wonderful excerpt from a scene in the movie, ‘Finding Forrester.’ If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you seek it out.

William: Is there a problem?

Jamal: No. I'm just thinking.

William: No thinking. That comes later. You write your first draft...with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is...to write. Not to think.

Paperbacks v.s. Hardbacks

When I go to a store, I am always stunned by the amount of hardback books that I see on the shelf. In New Zealand, we don’t really do hardback books unless a book is a new release...but even then, it can still be paperback. Books seem so...big in the USA. I catch myself wondering: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Everyone has their preferences when it comes to book buying and that includes whether a book is in paperback or hardback form. Both have their pros and cons.

Paperbacks: The Disadvantages

Paperbacks can fall apart. No, really, it happens. It’s devastating. That’s how I lost my first copy of Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. I got a new copy. It was in paperback but a newer edition. It’s something to remember that paperbacks are not all the same, so the quality can alternate. However, if you really love a book, paperbacks can be a little flimsier. When I look at my copies of the Harry Potter books, I can see that The Philosopher’s Stone is a little more delicate than The Prisoner of Azkaban, despite owning the two books for the same period of time. Azkaban is a hardback and thus sturdier.

Paperbacks: The Advantages

They take up less room – a lot less room! They also weigh a lot less. So, if you are carrying it around in a bag or even shipping it across to a friend, a paperback is a lot easier to handle than a hardback book. They’re also gentler to handle. If you are stretching up on your shelves and one falls out and hit you on the head, it will not damage you as badly as a hardback. Paperback books are also cheaper than hardbacks. Win!

Hardbacks: The Disadvantages

They’re bulky and if the book is a big one, they appear to be mega-fat. Fat books are intimidating because even if every single page is brilliant, the potential reader may not know this and flee from the commitment of reading so many pages.

Hardback books are also a lot easier to chew on. I don’t mean to imply that you literally sink your teeth into your literature but some other mammals do. Namely cats, although I suppose dogs, rabbits and guinea pigs are also a possibility. My copy of The Half-Blood Prince has teeth marks in the corner from where my cat, Severus, tried to devour it. I also once checked out a copy of Beastly by Alex Flinn from the library to discover that some unknown little beast had gnawed on the corners.

Hardbacks: The Advantages

They’re fancy. No, really, they often gleam and shine in ways that paperbacks cannot. That have a certain majesty to them and they stand proud on your shelves. They are very easy to read as they sit nicely in your lap and have a good-sized print. Also, you never have to worry about creasing the spine of your book.

In the end, I don’t think either can win out. It really does come down to preference and circumstance. There are some books I own that I am glad that I have in hardback and others that I like having in paperback, especially when they are little ones. I don’t know why but it just depends.

When I am in a bookstore I hear, “I prefer hardback books” or “I don’t like hardbacks.” Whatever the preference, I always hear that subtext of, “I like books,” which is all that really matters.

What about you? Do you have a preference? Hardbacks or paperbacks?

Tarot Told Me To

There are those who use tarot cards for fortune telling, looking into their future prospects and the futures of others. I love tarot but I’m no fortune teller. I’m a writer.

One of my favourite things about writing is archetypes. Character archetypes, plot archetypes, they’re all a base for something you can develop and shape into your own creation.

How does this relate to tarot cards? Each card is filled with symbolism.

For example, The Fool is my favourite tarot card. It depicts a young man, head held high, setting off on an adventure, unaware and uncaring of the dangers in front of him, ignoring all warnings and just taking a leap of faith. It is a card that depicts optimism and opportunities. Some might see this as foolish but I see it as inspirational.

It is these sorts of things that tarot cards can reveal to us that can open our minds and help us with storytelling. For me, I view tarot cards as a psychological tool. They’re like elaborate ink blots that the individual takes their own meaning from. Even if you learn the set meaning of tarot cards, the way you perceive them in a spread is unique. They allow you to run through I thought process you might not otherwise have considered.

The most basic of tarot spreads is PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE: three tarot cards in a row. If I take one of my characters, Joe the superhero – who I created in Short Stories in 7 Steps – and turn over three tarot cards in this spread, then we have…

Past: Death


Present: The Sun


Future: Ten of Swords

‘Woah,’ you might be thinking. ‘What are you supposed to get from that?’

Well…let’s find out.

Past: DEATH

The Death card represents an ending that brings about the beginning of something else. It doesn’t necessarily mean ‘he rose from the dead and became a zombie’ but it really depends on the character. I suppose it’s one of those ‘when one door closes, a window opens’ things but that always sounded like a bit of an alarming option to me.

In the past, Joe was a member of a league of superheroes. However, a horrific event had lead to the death of all his other comrades, save one who became a villain and is now Joe’s arch nemesis.

See how I have taken my own interpretation of the card and applied it to create a back story for Joe? I could go on but it’s a start and I can always create another spread later to delve more into his past.

Present: THE SUN

The Sun is a card of optimism and joy. It may relate to a child. It can also symbolise the person’s ego.

On his way home from work, Joe saves a baby (this is a plot point you may know I have explored in the past) and becomes the sole charge of this baby, not knowing who the parents are. Or perhaps the parents are dead and Joe feels once again responsible, like when he lost his comrades. This new event is startling for Joe but it allows him to explore another side of himself and live a more normal – if not quite stress-free – life, whereas he usually feels like the weight of justice is on his shoulders.

Future: TEN OF SWORDS

This is not a happy outcome. This card can depict back-stabbing, overkill and even death. That’s right, the Ten of Swords is a far more bleak card that the Death card. There is usually a silver lining but you might have to squint really hard to see it. It’s the card of being beaten down and the hardships that it takes to struggle and rise up again.

Hmm... I’ve decided that Joe’s going to lose his baby. Not to death or social services. The baby shall be kidnapped by Joe’s arch nemesis and former league ally. This baby has become Joe’s Achilles’ heel. His arch nemesis – who I shall name Theodore but who prefers to be called “Doctor Dread, NOT Ted!” – has the baby and is now threatening to kill him (Was the baby a ‘he’? I might have to double-check that...) unless Joe does his bidding.

This seems like quite the doom and gloom outcome but I remember to think about that squint-of-a-silver-lining. After all, if this baby changed Joe’s life, I have to wonder what it might do for Ted.

There are lots of tarot spreads that you can apply to storytelling. Not just the ones you can find that you use to read people’s fortunes but ones specific to the creative process. You can even make up your own!

You can find tarot spreads for writers and artists of other mediums at Aeclectic Tarot.

Also, I recently picked up Tarot for Writers by Corrine Kenner from Barnes & Noble.

If you ever feel writer’s block creeping up on you or are on the lookout for a new way to brainstorm, why not try tarot cards? They’re a fun, inventive and interesting new outlook on character and story building.

Beyond the Pages

In the month of April, people all over the world set out to write 100 pages of script in 30 days.

What kind of scripts? Plays, musicals, screenplays, short films, television, web series, graphic novels, audio scripts and more. Whatever kind of script you want to take on.

This event is known as 'Script Frenzy.' It is run by the same creative organization responsible for National Novel Writing Month, so if you have an account on the NaNoWriMo website, you can use the same information to log into Script Frenzy. Otherwise, just head over to the Script Frenzy site and sign up!

This is my third year doing Script Frenzy (I did it before I even did NaNoWriMo) and I have to say it's been great. Both times I've come out of it with a huge achievement and because you can tackle so many different script mediums, you can try something new each time.

All you need to do to complete Script Frenzy is to write 4 pages a day. If you can manage it, try and aim for 10 on the first day when the rush is fresh. That way you have something to fall back on if you slip a day.

If you're a fan of film or television or theatre or graphic novels or radio plays, then why not try and write one of your own? The Script Frenzy website has tons of resources that will give you tips on how to write your scripts. I write all of my scripts on a free script writing software called Celtx. You can choose what kind of script you want to write and it will format it for you, so there isn't that extra pressure when you're writing.

There is something wonderful about script writing. Once you have finished your script, it holds the potential to be transformed into an entirely new medium that even you might be amazed at the result of.

Have you ever written a script of any kind? Are you participating in Script Frenzy this year?

My username on the Script Frenzy website is cinnamon.quill, so if you find yourself participating, don’t hesitate to drop me a note or add me as a writing buddy. ♥

Update: Script Frenzy has now, sadly, been discontinued due to low participation rates and insufficient funding.