Fancy Stationary Makes for a Perfection Complex

There is a dream I have: Holding a copy of my published novel and swooning over the perfect printed pages.

There is a nightmare I have: Finding a typing error or other mistake in that published novel.

I'm an aspiring author. I love the adrenaline I get from typing away at my laptop but I also love writing by hand. In fact, a lot of my blog posts (including this one) I write first in pen and then type up.

It's a mystery as to why I gush over writing something down with ink because I don't have spartacular spectacular handwriting.* There is something about the thought process connecting with the movement of the pen that makes ideas flow more easily, despite the fact that writing by hand is much slower than typing.

I adore writing lists. When I am plotting planning something, I write lists of what I wish to accomplish or just write down my thought process on what I want to achieve. I write lists of books that I plan to read in the near future or which writing project I want to focus on next or even in the month after the next. Do I stick to these plans? Never Not always...but I love to scheme scribble.

With my handwriting obsession indulgence, I am drawn to the perfect platform for my inked words. Gorgeous stationary, that would give me a feeling akin to what something perfect and published would feel like, only rogue. Something rough but refined. Sounds ridiculous? Well, it is.

I cannot spell. I cannot write in the same way for a prolonged period of time. I make mistakes and I hate crossing words out but I also dislike using white-out products. I am determined to make something perfect on the very first go.

This feeling is akin to when you envision the novel you want to write, when you first have the idea. It is perfect to you. When you begin to write that first draft and it, well...sucks, then you are thrown into despair. The fact of it is, you just can't write something perfect in one swoop of ink on pretty pages.

Addicted to snazzy stationary, that's me. I have to steer clear of the stationary section in bookstores and supply stores. It just makes me envision the rare happenstance that I might be able to write something awesome by hand into some gorgeous writing book. Sort of how J.K. Rowling hand-wrote those five copies of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Crazy, awesome, genius woman.

Never, ever, ever, buy a workbook that compels you to need to write something perfect inside it. What you need to do is get a plain workbook of a medium size (fat ones always fall apart) that you can just scribble in, 'til your heart's content. A spiral notebook is always good, too.

These days, I just have workbooks that may vary in colour or have stripes but are not from the expensive must-write-perfection-in-me stationary section. It makes for more constructive writing and less procrastination and perfection complexes.

What kind of stationary do you prefer to write with? Do you like to hand-write before you type?
*Yes, I actually wrote spartacular. Weird brain...

The End Is Nigh

The end is near. Of NaNoWriMo that is.

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask?

NaNoWriMo is actually National Novel Writing Month. It's a writing event that occurs, every November, all over the world. People get together and write; the aim of the whole thing being to produce fifty-thousand words by the end of November.

This means writing one thousand, six hundred and sixty-seven words every day for the whole month. Difficult? Yes. Worth the trouble? Definitely.

The end of this event is creeping closer everyday and now, one the evening of the twenty-eighth day of November, it's nearly upon us. My personal word count fell behind earlier on in the month and now I'm stuck doing nine thousand a day from now until the end.

But that has shown me something; no matter how hard or daunting it may seem when you think of writing a novel, it's really not. I may or may not finish with fifty-thousand at the end of this but I will have most of the first draft of a novel. Even with a social life and commitments, millions of people finish NaNoWriMo with a draft of a novel.

What does this tell us? This tells us that it's really not that difficult.

Please, if you have an idea for a story, just write it. Don't bother spending years worrying about the main character's middle name and then give up - just sit down and start writing. If the story is there it will come to you. Maybe you could even do NaNoWriMo next November.

Just remember - there isn't a single soul that would try and stop you writing a novel except your own preconceptions, which can be overcome.

The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl is enjoying the quiet life with his family…until his mother falls fatally ill. She has contracted a fairy plague that was thought to have died out years ago and her saviour – a lemur – is now extinct, at a younger Artemis Fowl’s hands.

Artemis must now travel eight years back in time to stop his ten year old self from selling the lemur to extinctionists, a group of people who thrive on killing off the last of a kind. Can Artemis outwit his cleverest foe yet – himself?

Once I started listening to 'The Time Paradox' on audio book, I knew that it was shaping up to be the best written novel in the Artemis Fowl series by far. I was not let down. Flitting from humorous moments Artemis spends with Beckett and Miles to the heart-wrenching hopelessness he feels when he sees his mother’s rapidly withering condition, this series is even more emotionally powerful and rewarding than before.

Artemis may be changing for the better but he is not beyond ruthlessness when it is needed. His relationship with Captain Holly Short was one of my favourite aspects in the book. Just when their friendship is at its peak, it’s placed in the highest jeopardy. This time, while there were definite life-threatening stakes, I liked that the emotional stakes were what really propelled the story.

The comparison of Artemis and his younger ten year old self was fascinating. This was a boy who had only just lost his father and whose mother was starting not to recognise him. He was at the start of the ruthlessness we see in him in the first ‘Artemis Fowl’ novel. Yet, we were still able to see the emotionally complex side of the younger Arty.

So much was interconnected in this book because of the paradox caused by the time travel. I was in constant wonder as to how things were going to pan out. After all, Artemis has come into conflict with his younger self and a younger Butler. It was even more than that when the fairy magic weaved its way into the plot. Just when I thought I had one thing worked out, something else happened instead. Brilliant reading listening.

If you’re a fan of Doctor Who, as I am, you’ll be familiar with the fascination of a time paradox but this novel will not be dull. It isn’t anything close to hum-drum or predictable. I was riveted throughout. In Doctor Who reference, I must say that Butler is the Rory Williams of the Artemis Fowl series. The just can’t keep that man down, no matter how hard they try…and they really, really try.

One of the most heart-felt moments was when Holly speaks to a certain someone from her past through the hologram. I have to admit I was tearing up a little and I do not cry when I read books. Not often, from recollection.

‘The Time Paradox’ trumps even ‘The Opal Deception’ which was my favourite of the series so far and which was full to the brim of the fabulous Opal Koboi. I don’t usually give my star ratings unless they’re really good but this novel gets top marks!

“Fabulosity isn't a word, by the way. In case you're thinking of writing how wonderful I am in your diary.”

Oh, how I love the characters and wit in the Artemis Fowl series. I am pained to know that there are only two installments remaining in the series and only one written and available, ‘The Atlantis Complex.’ I shall devour it and wait…

If you have yet to read ‘The Time Paradox’ then I suggest you listen to the audio book, read by Nathaniel Parker, since it is full of fabulosity. Although, fair warning that the American that introduces it pronounces Eoin’s name as “Ian.”

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Hyperion Books and is used solely as an aide to the review.

Don’t Be Credible, Be Incredible

How can you write about someone who is male, black, an acrobat, obese, bisexual, a genius or a were-llama if you’re not?

The saying I always hear people repeat – “Write what you know” – is tedious.

What if I don’t want to write what I know? It’s boring. After all, we are lovers of the art of fiction. We do not want to sit around and write essays. Even diaries are often only compelling when they belong to the little imaginary people that reside in our heads.

Still, the idea that you need to write what you know, because otherwise your writing will not be plausible, is haunting.

Everyone is different. The idea that if everyone just wrote about themselves we would all have an eclectic range of brilliant writing, is a little ridiculous.

There is the fear that if we attempt to write about something we do not have a personal experience with, our writing will be shallow. We will not be able to do justice to the emotions and situations of our characters and we will be judged by those who understand the details of what we are trying to write better than we do.

What I believe is shallow is restricting your writing potential and your imagination. Everyone is different, so while you want your character to be relatable and plausible, if they are not a specific historical character, they have their right to be an individual. You don’t need to shape them into what you suppose it would be like for every were-llama out there or what a specific genius would think if he stumbled upon your story.

While I can understand and even share in the paranoia that because you are unlike your main character you will fail in some way, it seems to me that the only alternative is the self-insert, which I find far more intimidating.

There are plenty of novels where you can tell that the protagonist is just the author, inserting themselves into the story. Sometimes the book is amazing and even though it is quite obvious that the author is just writing about himself, you don’t care because it’s an awesome book. Other times it is just awkward and more than a little indulgent. There are just some things you don’t want to know about the author, let alone read about explicitly.

Being credible is boring. Perhaps there are some people out there who are so interesting that they can fuel a novel with just their personality and experiences on the page but I think that a person’s imaginative reach is a huge part of who they are and what they can do.

Don’t stunt your capabilities because you are worried that you will get something wrong. Don’t be afraid to try and write new and interesting characters unlike yourself because you think you might offend someone. Think outside the box and write outside it too.

When the movie ‘Planet 51’ came out, some people found it odd that they would get Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to voice a white astronaut. What I found odd was that none of these same people had a problem with any of the white actors voicing the green aliens…

Don’t write what you know. Write what you are passionate about and what interests you. Give voice to a character and a story far outside your own reality. Otherwise, you’re just going to be left with something resembling the angst-ridden pages of your teenage diary. Trust me – no one wants to read that.

The Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer

Artemis is sticking his intellect into fairy business once again. This time, he’s managed to track down appearances of a banished fairy race – demons. The demons have been trapped in limbo all this time but now they are starting to reappear in random times and places.

Holly and Artemis must find a way to keep the demon world from exploding back into theirs without any control, otherwise the result to be catastrophic for all fairy-kind.

They aren’t the only ones with their sights on the demons, however. There is another who has managed to track and capture one of the demons – and this demon may be exceptionally more powerful than the rest.

Who is this mystery demon-catcher? She is Minerva Paradizo, a young genius just like Artemis – and she’s only twelve years old.

Can Artemis manage to retrieve the demon from Minerva and save the People from exposure…or will his budding hormones hinder him?

Okay, so Artemis Fowl finally hit puberty and it is the most awesome thing to read about…er, listen to. Yes, hearing Artemis’ developments and reactions on audio book is far more rewarding.

I think I was just about to explode from the, Oh my gosh, that is SO cute, ha ha, reactions I was having throughout the novel. Forget the fact that the world was at risk from demons, I could have been satisfied with just Artemis’ pubescence.

The main demon in the book, Number One, was a delightful character. Up until now, I adored the fact that the character cast wasn’t all that expanding and instead focused on developing the characters I knew and loved in each book. Number One is a happy exception. I particularly loved his obsession with learning new words like “balloon.” It gave me a better appreciation for the wonder of language.

The events at the end of the novel were the most riveting. Artemis goes through some changes far beyond puberty that promise to prove interesting. I knew I had to have the next book in the series faster than I had ever wanted any of the others because the changes were so drastic and promising that I had to experience them immediately.

I have in fact already started listening to 'The Time Paradox' on audio book and it is proving to be the best written novel of the entire series.

(Seriously, Minerva and Artemis – THAT IS SO DAMN CUTE!)

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Hyperion Books and is used solely as an aide to the review.

Skip Ahead to the Good Bits

It’s hard to find a novel you adore. Even our absolute favourites can leave us with some qualms over certain events.

Then there are moments in a story that we wish we could skip over entirely. In fact, we often do. Our eyes glaze over and we start to skim read. We flick through the pages ahead to see how much longer this chapter is or if our favourite character’s name is mentioned again anytime soon.

That has been my experience at least – and it is unfortunately a frequent one. Skip ahead to the good parts, I find myself thinking. If only there were more novels made up of all good bits.

Of course, that matter lies a lot with personal opinion but it also lies in the writing.

If I’m reading a book that I do enjoy, I feel a little guilty about skim reading parts.* After all, imagine if someone skim read something you had written?

“So, what did you think of the epic battle scene at the end?”

“Yeah… I sort of skimmed over that part. Too much description. The rest was good, though.”

There is a high probability that if you write and publish a novel, someone is going to skim read over parts of it. Yes, those same parts that you spent ages on, inflecting awesome into every sentence. It is not a happy chappy thought.

How can you do your best to avoid this from happening?

Balance Dialogue and Description

I have the tendency to indulge in extremes when I’m writing. I either describe things in explicit detail, thinking, This is the most visually vivid scene I have ever written… or I just write nothing but dialogue and forget to mention that my characters aren’t just floating around in space, having a good ol’ chat.

The idea that dialogue is more captivating to the reader is a lie. While blocks of writing that make you wonder, Where did all the paragraphs go? seem daunting and tedious, there are so many occasions where I’m reading a dialogue in a novel and my brain just translates it as, Blah blah blah , shut up.

Balancing description and dialogue can be a problem if your character is alone. Of course, you can always make him talk to himself…but if you don’t want him to appear the complete nutter, then just keep your paragraphs short and pur character into your narrative, instead of just blandly observing the surroundings. Keep things moving. Don’t stop and smell the description.

With dialogue, it’s best not to have characters repeat things the reader already knows. Also, make sure there is some conflict. Your character don’t need to wage war with every conversation but if all they do is agree with each other and say polite things, your reader will be the one wanting to smite them instead.

Keep Things Interesting and Relevant

It doesn't matter if you think clothes shopping is the greatest thing in the world - if there is no benefit to a shopping spree in your story, do not write in a shopping scene. The same goes for over-describing yummy foods. If it is pointless to the plot, the reader will just grow hungry and put your story aside for some real food.

Don't let your story remain at a standstill. You want things to be happening all the time. Even if each event isn't of epic proportions, keep your readers intrigued with new plot developments and they will pay attention.

Monologues and trains of thought are all very well in moderation. In fact, I love a good character monologue and a train of thought is really an internal monologue. It pays not to go overboard, though. Otherwise, you're falling back into the danger zone of endless blocks of text, having your character reflect on everything around them instead of delving into anything new and your story drawing to a standstill.

Would You Skip Over It?

We all love to indulge in our own writing but if you took a step back and read your work as if it were someone else’s, would you want to read this particular part? Even if you think it is the most artistic piece of awesome, it might be the dullest thing to read.

Writers have the urge to skip ahead to the good parts, too. It’s not just readers who feel this way.

I always try to encourage myself to write in chronological order. Why? Simply because if I don't, then I'm going to jump around to my favourite parts in the story and leave the parts I'd otherwise struggle with of find less interesting. If I indulge my desire to write all the bits I find exciting, I'm left with hardly anything written and big gaping holes that are going to be even more horrible to get through.

Of course, if you have a part in your novel that you are itching to write and don't want to lose the inspiration for it, write it now. Try not to only allow yourself to write the moments in your story you are exciting to get to, however. The anticipation of getting to them will drive you through the other parts that you find more sluggish.

Wait, I thought the whole idea was to not write parts that the reader would skip over?

This is very true. After all, if you don't enjoy writing something, why would anyone enjoy reading it? If you catch yourself skim reading a part of your own story, then you definitely have a problem. Regardless, if you are writing a first draft, there are always going to be parts that you have problems with. What you need to so is soldier on through those parts and then develop them in the rewrite.

In my first novel, I despised the antagonist in my rewrite. Sounds ideal, yes? After all, if he is the antagonist and I don't like him, the reader wouldn't like him either and I'd be on the write track!

I wish this were the case. In fact, the reason I didn't like him was because he was dull and shallow and tedious to write, making him boring to read about. Since he was a very important character in my novel, this did not bode well.

Thus, when I rewrote the story, I was determined to make him a character I could fall in love with and appreciate, while still making his role that of the primary antagonist.**

What are some factors that you find cause you to skim read over parts in a novel? How do you best avoid readers skimming your own work?

*If it’s a book I don’t like, I don’t give a toss. It’s wasting my life away. In fact, why am I even still pretending to read it?

**For those who find the idea of a antagonist that the reader can like confusing, see Villains v.s. Antagonists

The Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer

Opal Koboi has been in a coma ever since her participation in the Goblin uprising…or so it is thought.

Devious as ever, Opal has managed to escape without anyone catching on. Now she has set out to seek her revenge against all those that corrupted her plans.

Intent on causing the fairy and human worlds to collide and for her new alliance with the humans to be victorious, Opal takes this chance to torment and kill her enemies. Among them is Captain Holly Short of the LEP (Lower Elements Police) who is soon labelled a criminal and targeted for all of Opal’s destruction.

There is only one person who can help Holly now and that is the human boy genius, Artemis Fowl. However, he now has no memory of anything to do with the People or his friendship with Holly.

With no clue as to why Opal wants him dead, Artemis must fight alongside Captain Short for his life and the future of the fairy world.

Will Artemis regain his memories? Can they stop Opal in time?

It was great to see Artemis and Butler back to their criminal ways after being mind-wiped by the fairies. Artemis is as clever as ever and I can never quite see what he’s going to come up with. Even if I think I guess one part of his plan, he surprises me with another.

Artemis is fourteen now but he still has to play the part of a teenager...and only if he’s going to act like one for a scheme. I think he manages the role quite well. His wit is one of the highest reasons I’m drawn to him as a character.

What I love about the Artemis Fowl novels is that Colfer takes his characters and develops them through the series, not bringing in a character, tossing them and then tugging in another. The dynamic between Artemis, Butler, Holly and the brilliantly written dwarf Mulch were at their best in ‘The Opal Deception.’ However, it was the return of Opal Koboi, who was less prominent in ‘The Arctic Incident’ that I adored.

Opal is a beautifully written character. While Artemis is the child genius that behaves like an adult, Opal is the far older fairy genius, who often has the temperament of a child and can definitely pass for one, due to her pixie proportions.

I think that Parker’s dramatisation of her character in his audio book narration really amplified my liking for her. His execution of her every word is brilliant. My two favourite of Opal’s lines in the novel are, “You're looking directly at me. That's very bad for my skin.” and “Whoever is passing wind, please stop it, or I will devise a fitting punishment.”

The stakes were so much higher and more real in this novel. While previous Artemis Fowl books had a triumphant tone, despite obstacles, this one was a lot more gritty and emotional. Artemis isn’t the only one growing throughout the series. Holly is obtaining new heights also.

I can’t wait (and in fact I won’t since I’ve already bought it) to see what will become of these characters in the next installment, ‘The Lost Colony.’ I also hope to see more of Opal in the Artemis Fowl series in future.

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Hyperion Books and is used solely as an aide to the review.

How to Be a Pirate by Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III

Hiccup is one of the scrawniest Vikings in Berk. He is also the only son of Stoick the Vast, their chief.

Just when Hiccup is starting to show his qualities as a future leader, a coffin washes up with the promise of Grimbeard the Ghastly's treasure. It is said that the only one who can uncover Grimbeard's riches is his heir, who just happens to be Hiccup.

Soon the Vikings of Berk set out to find the treasure, with the help of Alvin the Poor-But-Honest-Farmer.

What happens if Hiccup can't find it? Will the title of Grimbeard's heir be given to another...and just how honest is this Alvin fellow?

Coincidence and an eye infection found me reading this book with one eye operable on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

After I had finished reading 'How to Train Your Dragon', I was itching for the next installment. So, when I was able, I purchased the next two books.

'How to Be a Pirate' is a fun, humourous and touching read. It really takes the underdog (Hiccup) and the reluctant hero (Toothless) and makes them even more interesting, real and relatable to the reader. You can't help but become captivated by their adventures.

This book was a real adventure - a series of situations, unfurling into a compelling journey. Much like the first installment in Hiccup's memoirs, the descriptions are so very striking. I don't mean hum-drum la-de-das of scenery when I say "description" but that things were written in such a way that I was propelled into storms and sword-fights, I was more than timid of the Skullions - dragons with so many hindrances and yet so primal and frightening - and I was 100% hungry for treasure.

The translator of Hiccup's memoirs, Cressida Cowell, has a strength with words and a way of handling stories. I look forward to reading the third installment, 'How to Speak Dragonese'.

In accordance with the FTC, Quill Café would like to disclose that the reviewer purchased this book. The opinions expressed are hers alone and no monetary compensation was offered to her by the author or publisher. Cover art is copyright of Little, Brown Books and is used solely as an aide to the review.