Tuesday, August 28

Disappointment Sucks

Which is worse, being pessimistic about life to the point where every happy event is a surprise or getting your hopes up and being let down?

Let's not get into that glass half empty, half full analysis because it's tedious. To cut to the chase, being disappointed stinks. It's saddening and frustrating because even when you tell yourself, 'Que sera, sera' in advance and not to hope too much, it still sucks when you're slapped with a NEGATIVE.

If you're a writer, you're going to be criticized and rejected. Not just by editors and publishers but by readers. Judgy judgy judgy. They're all waiting, bookmarks bared, red pens at the ready.

When faced with the inevitability of rejection, plenty will frown, curl into a ball and say, 'Why bother?'

To that I say, 'If you spent less time worry-moping and more time writing, you'd be better off.'

Except that's one of those 'Easier said' things, innit? I tell myself that moping and worrying and being stressed is not going to help me at all.

To quote Barney Stinson, 'When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story!'

For the most part I'm pretty skilled at this. Still, I've not got the technique perfected.

See, being rejected doesn't suck - being disappointed does.

'Uhh...what's the difference?'

Well, if you are open to the fate of being rejected, you can tough it out. If you secretly think you're going to succeed, even if you tell yourself it doesn't matter...then you get frustrated and sad.

'So what's the solution?'

I hada friend once who undersold herself at every turn. She was - and is moreso now - a talented artist but she hated on almost everything she drew. This might have been low self-esteem on her part but I also think she didn't want to give herself room to preen in case she was shut down. This mind frame has probably stunted the development of her magnificent skills.

By being so down on yourself you lose self motivation and your productivity rate plummets.

Returning to rejection and disappointment...it's inevitable. I hate having to say that because it is an excruciating fact I don't want to thrust at other people but alas.

Auditioned for a theatre group that you didn't get into? You might not be the upper-crust of actors but you know you're better than her. Being sour isn't helpful but you can't repress it.

Successfully booked tickets to a one-off show, only to be told your purchase didn't go through? No, wait, they found it! Sorry, no, they did not. Then random blokes who showed up got in. You refuse to be a sorry FML monologuer... AAARGH!

Rejection sucks, disappointment sucks. The worse part is frustration which spouts from the fact that blaming people doesn't help and is often irrational.

The solution? Well mine is to breathe, focus on other aspects of my life that are positive and exciting and just carry on being awesome. It's far more fun and healthier that way.

How do you handle disappointment and rejection?

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