Tuesday, August 7

Owls v.s. Hedgehogs

My name is Quillbert, I am a hedgehog and the owls are out to get me.

I see owls everywhere. They adorn clocks, erasers and fancy leather journals. Their eyes are always watching. It's eerie.

You may not be aware of this but...I'm awesome. I do well against predators. Snakes? I could eat them, though I admit it is a delicacy I have yet to sample. Owls? They're dangerous.

I am not paranoid.

Owls are perceived to be the embodiment of knowledge. Why? It is because their eyes are so wide they give the impression of being constantly startled by the stupidity of others. Yet they use those magnificent eyes to stalk their prey.

There is a brilliant short film called 'Hedgehog in the Fog' about a hedgehog who is going to visit his bear cub friend and count the stars. Très gorgeous! Then along comes this owl who (no pun intended...hee hee) is a real creeper. This is not a giggle statement - someone get that guy a restraining order.

I do not understand why owls are the default rulers of the literary domain. Just because their night vision is amazing (their day vision isn't too shabby either) and they wear a permanent indignant expression does not mean that they should be handed book worms on a silver platter.

My night vision is rubbish. My day vision? Shabby. I live for large print and audio books. I'm an avid reader whose literary look is super squinty. Still, I have an appetite for fiction. Mmm...book worms.

So I have made it my mission to challenge the parliament plague of owls. I shall conquer the wonders of reading in quirky and unconventional ways. Perhaps I will learn Braille. If apes can be taught sign language and stroke kittens all day, then I will be the hedgehog who learns Braille and strokes books all day.

TEAM HEDGEPIGGY!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We're rooting for you, Quillbert!